How To Tell If Your Girlfriend's a Psycho

Does your girlfriend...

1. Constantly call you throughout the day to update you about what she is doing and/or she wants you to update her about what you're doing?
2. Ask your opinion about how she looks, and then harshly judges the sincerity of your answer?
3. Tell you "if you loved me, you would do it" (which means anything from showering her with a dozen roses to throwing yourself off a high cliff)?
4. Obsess over getting ready to go out to the point that it grates on your nerves and leads to an argument (thereby sapping any joy out of attending social gatherings together)?
5. Celebrate the anniversary of every event and occurrence in your relationship including the mundane?
6. Feel the need to assert to other women that you and she are an item?
7. Seek the attention of other men, even in your presence?
8. Tell you " she likes taking care of you?
9. Tattoo herself to you every moment you are together?
10. Talk about what the future of the relationship will be (i.e. marriage, kids, residence, etc.) without having any prior discussion with you on such matters.
11. Have dramatic mood swings from she loves you more than life itself to throwing angry public tantrums?
12. Try to be physically intimate at inappropriate times, ask you sensitive questions in mixed company, or provoke any other actions that makes it seem like she is testing you?
13. Become physical during arguments?
14. Tell you "I don't know what I would do if you left me"?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, chances are you have a crazy and deranged fatal attraction on your hands. Take out a restraining order, and then run for the hills.