Dear Diary...

I am completely exhausted from this morning's activities:

I woke Brett with loud meowing and rough scampering across the bed at 6:30 A.M. Seeing the annoyed look on his face coupled with the fact that I knew he didn't have to be at work until 10:00 A.M. was priceless.

I toke just two bites of my over-priced Fancy Feast Virgin Tuna and then left the rest. Again, I'm dieing with laughter over the annoyed look on his face.

For being such a good sport, I decided to cover the bathroom floor with some cat sand from my liter box. Heavy grit is just what you need when you're stepping out the shower with wet feet. Plus it gives the bathroom a nice marked territory mating season fragrance.

Next I removed the curtains from the living room window, because they were hideous and blocking the sun for my afternoon naps.

Then I played a game of knock the crates of music Cd's over. It's the same rules as 52 card pick-up. Guess who has to pick-up the Cd's?

Next I was looking forward to doing some paper cutting. So I headed to the bedroom to get some tissue paper from inside of Brett's shoe boxes. I make the best snow flakes.

Afterwards I remembered there were some clean clothes lying on the dining room table that I hadn't spread cat hair on yet. So I rolled around the laundry a while until it was time for my nail appointment. The armchair in the living room makes for a perfect scratching post.

I got hungry, so I finished the remainder of my breakfast. Then I gave myself a rough tongue bath.

What a morning, and I still have some IT work to do. I've got 15 minutes left to remove the key pads off of Brett's laptop before noon.

I plead not guilty your Honor on the basis of misinformation. When I agreed to participate in the Malaysia My Second Home Program I was told English was readily spoken. How was I suppose to know what 'Zon Tunda' meant.

History Around Me

I’m from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, but at age 15 I settled in a suburb just outside Washington D.C. Reason being, my mother’s employer, Ma Bell, transferred her position to the D.C. area after the government forced the Mega Corporation to brake-up its monopoly. My reaction to the migration was one of emotional resistance and uneasiness which lasted two years. A teenager who is about to start varsity football in his upcoming junior year and hoping to get an athletic scholarship to Penn State does not want to move. But the ‘Chocolate City’ characterized by Go-Go music, college hoops (let’s go Hoyas), Mayor for life (Marion Barry) and host to Michael Jordan and Mike Tyson became my home for 23 years before moving to Malaysia.

But this post isn’t about what I lost or teenage trial and tribulations; rather it is about what I learned. By virtue of location historical events unfolded right before my eyes. I didn’t have to read a small blip from a newspaper to find out why African American Men from all parts of the United States gathered on Washington’s Capitol Mall on October 16, 1995, because I attended the ‘Million Man March’.












I saw firsthand the bruised Pentagon Building after 911. I can direct you to the exact location where the attempted assassination of Ronald Regan took place, because at one time I worked 100 ft. away from the hotel where it happened. I can even recite to you mundane facts like generally what the former Speaker of The White House, George Stephanopoulos likes to do when he works out. I also recall him having an annoyed look on his face like ‘do you know who I am’ whenever he was asked to present his gym membership card at the front desk.

In retrospect I appreciate this knowledge now; I didn’t when I lived there. You tend to take everyday occurrences for granted, even those occurrences that are of historical and international proportion.

Today I wished I was back in Washington D.C. to bear witness to the Inauguration of the 44th President of United States of America, Barack Obama. It would have been nice to have that memory to share with my future grand children.


P.S.

I eventually received an athletic scholarship from Howard University for Taekwondo.

Pole Dancing

No, I'm not looking to perform three 20-minute sets on Friday and Saturday evenings to put myself through college or turn in my boxing gloves for a pair of 6 inch pumps. I just thought I might try something well off my radar. Case in point, I just recently started training for Aikido which probably doesn't surprise anyone. But the idea of me pole dancing leaves most people with a puzzled look on their face. Luckily my feelings and ego are pretty much bullet proof to any wise cracks. The fact that I have the kahunas to make this post should tell you that.

Whether any heterosexual homophobic jocks want to admit it, performing pole stunts takes a considerable amount of strength. Trying to hang upside down from a vertical pole using mostly the muscles of the inner-thighs and no hands usually results in a head concussion. I have to give the You-Tube pole dancing superstars their props! They make the difficult look easy.

Rough economic times call for drastic measures. I may go on a male pole dance review entertaining lonely-heart women at the next high tea. Please don’t take me seriously. The 9 second video that follows is all I have to give.